im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
you made out with another girl for some wings
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
