I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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