The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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