Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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