you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
