no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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