Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
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