Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
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Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
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If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.