dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
i am craving dick and cupcakes