I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?