And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
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He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
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Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...