We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
