Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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