i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
there was a trapeze. enough said
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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