i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
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