I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I think my fart just growled at me.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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