The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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