I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
