I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
