I'm drive I can fine osifer
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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