Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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