Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Randomize
