I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
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Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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