I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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