he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize