Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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