Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
