I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
