Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
