a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize