Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
