I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
