i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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