eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
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He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
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I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.