Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.

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(415): Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer. http://tfl.nu/s996

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(940): View more from Texas

I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.

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(940): I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you. http://tfl.nu/qbhx

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(817): View more from Texas

My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.

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(817): My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday. http://tfl.nu/n9me

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?

(917): View more from New York City

what kind of party is this?

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

the best kind ever

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(610): can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home? (917): what kind of party is this? (610): the best kind ever http://tfl.nu/ib1r

Replies (22) Good night (7834) Bad night (973)
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(602): View more from Arizona

I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy

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(602): I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy http://tfl.nu/rk38

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(316): View more from Kansas

Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.

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(316): Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her. http://tfl.nu/l2pb

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(530): View more from California

and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.

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(530): and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters. http://tfl.nu/hxhg

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(808): View more from Hawaii

Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.

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(808): Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful. http://tfl.nu/6ueo

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(914): View more from New York

He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.

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(914): He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game. http://tfl.nu/uv06

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(520): View more from Arizona

you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab

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(520): you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab http://tfl.nu/m7xl

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.

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(978): You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone. http://tfl.nu/5mak

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(773): View more from Illinois

Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals

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(773): Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals http://tfl.nu/fp9n

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(937): View more from Ohio

Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.

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(937): Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life. http://tfl.nu/0u64

Replies (9) Good night (668) Bad night (234)
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(574): View more from Indiana

I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual

(1-574): View more from Indiana

You're the salmon of the gays...

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(574): I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual (1-574): You're the salmon of the gays... http://tfl.nu/2l6t

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.

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(920): I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset. http://tfl.nu/b5mu

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