i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
How many fucks given?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.