he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
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Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
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How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.