no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She's the barista slut.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize