I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Randomize
