i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
