I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
