would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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