She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Is it penis luge time yet?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
