the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
