I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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