Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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