help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
