i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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