I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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