Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
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