is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Michael Bay diarrhea
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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