Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Randomize
