Do you still have your period?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
