Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
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