if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
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