its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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