dude you need to get laid
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying