Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.

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  (703): I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians. http://tfl.nu/fsi0
  Replies (8) Good night (1823) Bad night (519)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool

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  (904): I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool http://tfl.nu/7zbx
  Replies (19) Good night (705) Bad night (5547)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...

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  (952): i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight... http://tfl.nu/bbui
  Replies (11) Good night (3611) Bad night (672)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft

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  (540): woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft http://tfl.nu/ob1j
  Replies (26) Good night (1078) Bad night (4603)
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  (310): View more from California

  i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son

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  (310): i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son http://tfl.nu/uvhv
  Replies (19) Good night (938) Bad night (4267)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.

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  (215): you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'. (215): we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk. http://tfl.nu/6wc5
  Replies (27) Good night (6813) Bad night (906)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.

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  (407): the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever. http://tfl.nu/psk0
  Replies (14) Good night (6083) Bad night (618)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again

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  (906): It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again http://tfl.nu/8319
  Replies (22) Good night (2409) Bad night (5183)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick

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  (519): I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick http://tfl.nu/bx5i
  Replies (18) Good night (1947) Bad night (5574)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.

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  (281): Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together. http://tfl.nu/69iq
  Replies (15) Good night (2930) Bad night (898)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.

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  (815): She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode. http://tfl.nu/19jg
  Replies (6) Good night (1434) Bad night (3151)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.

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  (210): This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions. http://tfl.nu/0vpd
  Replies (2) Good night (951) Bad night (540)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.

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  (803): Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face. http://tfl.nu/i1ol
  Replies (7) Good night (689) Bad night (322)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.

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  (904): He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard. http://tfl.nu/3loy
  Replies (9) Good night (443) Bad night (1174)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that

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  (775): The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that http://tfl.nu/7hy2
  Replies (1) Good night (664) Bad night (457)

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