so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Randomize
