Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(802): View more from Vermont

you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it

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(802): you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it http://tfl.nu/ykku

Replies (27) Good night (3526) Bad night (750)
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(850): View more from Florida

We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.

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(850): We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you. http://tfl.nu/tn9h

Replies (18) Good night (8305) Bad night (1448)
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(641): View more from Iowa

since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.

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(641): since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing. http://tfl.nu/ihpp

Replies (10) Good night (6900) Bad night (1863)
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(425): View more from Washington

In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter

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(425): In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter http://tfl.nu/la90

Replies (5) Good night (3112) Bad night (1160)
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(867): View more from Yukon/N.W.Territory

Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?

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(867): Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting? http://tfl.nu/56t0

Replies (2) Good night (2156) Bad night (1711)
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(530): View more from California

Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.

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(530): Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle. http://tfl.nu/p5r3

Replies (15) Good night (1500) Bad night (2044)
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(440): View more from Ohio

The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.

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(440): The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right. http://tfl.nu/kh4m

Replies (5) Good night (1944) Bad night (772)
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(330): View more from Ohio

its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays

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(330): its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays http://tfl.nu/ccn1

Replies (3) Good night (1295) Bad night (589)
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(817): View more from Texas

Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.

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(817): Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment. http://tfl.nu/91us

Replies (7) Good night (871) Bad night (1954)
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(773): View more from Illinois

Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.

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(773): Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive. http://tfl.nu/999r

Replies (4) Good night (1766) Bad night (493)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.

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(781): You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right. http://tfl.nu/fzy9

Replies (3) Good night (1020) Bad night (936)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

the liver wants what the liver wants

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(908): the liver wants what the liver wants http://tfl.nu/f32q

Replies (2) Good night (650) Bad night (296)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.

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(843): ...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us. http://tfl.nu/7j26

Replies (1) Good night (638) Bad night (724)
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(714): View more from California

I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation

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(714): I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation http://tfl.nu/yqvf

Replies (1) Good night (952) Bad night (328)
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(252): View more from North Carolina

Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.

(252): View more from North Carolina

Psychosis secondary to sobriety???

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(252): Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me. (252): Psychosis secondary to sobriety??? http://tfl.nu/qduc

Replies (2) Good night (298) Bad night (162)

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