Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.