i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
