I heard we made out
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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