Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
