I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
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