I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
